Britney Three-Point-Turn Spears was back in the news after she steered her ride over the foot of one of Hollywood’s beloved paparazzi. TMZ reports:
With one hand attempting to cover her freshly acquired Jolie-esque lips, Spears attempted to exit the parking lot in her Pumpkinmobile while using her other hand to steer. As she tried to make a quick left, with paparazzi by her side, Spears’ tire ran over our sandal-wearing photog’s foot. Spears stopped the car, trapping our guy for what must have seemed like 4 hours. Ouch!
It’s just the latest in a series of traffic disasters for the porky pop princess. She’s basically al-Qaeda with power steering.
Meanwhile, Britney’s visitation privileges with her kids have been revoked until she complies with an unspecified court order. It’s anyone’s guess what the court order is. But my money’s on mandatory driving lessons
Britney Spears had her first visit with her sons Monday since losing custody. She spent Monday coloring in a coloring book, catching bugs, and building sand castles and THEN it was time for her visit with her children.
“A nanny who has also been spotted at K-Fed’s house accompanied the boys to their mom’s Malibu manse and stayed the afternoon, as per the court’s order.”
Britney’s visits are always supervised. A judge said she can’t be left alone with the kids. Kind of like Kirstie Alley with cheesecake.
She’s also gotten back together with her mom. Well, that makes sense. Now that K-Fed isn’t around, SOMEBODY has to do the laundry.
Britney Spears was ordered Monday by a judge to turn over her kids to ex-hubby Kevin Federline. Which brings up all sorts of legal questions, the most important being: How big a screw-up do you have to be to make Federline look like the responsible adult?
I feel sorry for the kids. This will throw their little worlds completely off balance– getting used to a new house, sleeping in a new bed, eating food that doesn’t come with the instructions “tear plastic.”
But give her credit. She was trying hard with those kids. How many other busy celebrity moms have taken the time to teach their kid how to drive? She was also serious about their education. “A is for Appletini, B is for Bacardi…”
Breaking news: One of Britney Spears’ former security guards Tony “Fat Tony” Barretto appeared in an L.A court on September 17th saying Spears was depressed, might do drugs, and spends too much money. In the recent issue, US weekly reports,
“She has mental problems. With her drug and booze issues, her home is no place for kids to be raised,” said Barretto.
What? Spears might be crazy and drinks too much? This is shocking, really, because I thought shaving your head, attacking paparazzi vehicles with bats, and sucking pacifiers was completely normal behavior. Come on Fat Tony, it’s like you just told us Lance Bass was gay. No shit.
But, I guess cheeto-muching, might-be-drug-doing, suicidal-thought-thinking, she-is-a-sucky-mother-press is better than no press. Her new single “Gimme More” is iTunes’ #3 song this week. It’s also iTunes’ #1 ringtone, and number 18 on “Radio & Records Top 40 National Airplay Chart” according to DMW Daily.
I just downloaded the song now, and, listening to it, I would never call Spears crazy. More like lyrical genius. “Gimme gimme more gimme more gimmie gimme more…” Pure poetry.
Tony Barretto, the “secret witness” in the recent Spears/Federline custody hearing that ordered Spears to attend parenting classes and adhere to random drug testing, is coming forward with stories of erratic behavior, alleged drugging, and well, just more bizarre behavior. After being fired last May for failing to pick up Brit’s hat after she supposedly asked him to three times (he suffers from a mild loss of hearing), he swears his motivation for speaking out is not to get revenge. He is legitimately worried about the safety of the fallen pop star’s two small boys. According to the Daily Mail, “Fat Tony” was quoted as saying:
“She’s unpredictable. No one knows what she’ll do next. That’s what scared me. I don’t know what caused her screaming, whether it was drugs or mental instability. She’d be wailing, making no sense. It was worse at night.”
I can only imagine how Jayden and Sean feel, I mean this even makes me a little scared and I will never come withing 500 miles of the girl. Whether she’s skipping kid birthdays to party in Vegas, giving her 1-year old driving lessons in downtown LA, or taking qualudes before hopping on stage for VMA comeback performaces, I think everyone can agree that ms. Spears is not fit to raise a pet turtle, let alone two children. Thanks to Tony the deaf bodyguard for knocking some sense into this Los Angeles Judge. But let’s be honest, if she can’t bend down and pick up her own effing hat, the instructors over there at parenting school better be amazing miracle workers.
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