But new plot twist makes her more enjoyable than ever
The National Enquirer reports that the California Department of Justice has begun an investigation into the death of Anna Nicole Smith starting on Friday with a raid on the houses of former friends known to have connections to Smith’s prescription drug supply.
“The locations searched today are related to doctors who provided medical treatment or prescribed drugs for Anna Nicole Smith or her associates,” California Attorney General Jerry Brown said in a statement.
Smith’s psychiatrist Dr. Khristine Eroshevich has been under investigation by the medical board was just one of their targets. But surprise, surprise, guess who ended up already being at Eroshevich’s house? Howard K. Stern. The plot actually thickens.
So for all those not up to date on the whole conspiracy theory: Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead had a homosexual relationship, impregnated Anna Nicole, killed her son Daniel, then her in order to inherit all of her money and escape away in a passionate gay love affair. What’s really crazy about all of this is that now it might actually be true. If it is, I hope the irony of Anna Nicole being knocked off for inheritance money doesn’t escape anybody.
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Drew Carey engaged to chef, big fat surprise
Everything is coming up Drew Carey. The National Enquirer claims the new host of “The Price is Right” has announced his engagement to Nicole Jaracz, a recent culinary school graduate. Someone who loves money found someone who loves to eat. It’s a match made in heaven. I guess Barker’s Beauties must still reek of Bob’s man-scent.
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Oldest play in the book-- The Rolex Copycat
OJ Simpson has seemingly got off easy once again. Three days after being told to give his Rolex watch to the Goldmans to pay for the civil suit the Rolex was returned to him. Reuters reports that the timepiece was a fake from China worth appraised for about $100.
Now I know a judge said OJ killed their son, but the Goldmans are starting to seem like petty assholes. They’ve basically got him by his ankles and are shaking him to see what falls out. A fake Rolex? Who’s more embarrassed? I say if they ever want their money they should make sure OJ is free to rob more Vegas hotels. Then and only then will there be justice.
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Kid Rock desperate to stay famous
In what can only be considered a desperate plea for attention by a washed up psuedo-musician, Kid Rock told Rolling Stone he had doubts that Pam Anderson had a miscarriage last November.
“She’s in Vancouver shooting a movie, and I have Laker seats on the floor, and I’m gonna go to the Lakers game with my friend Jesse James,” Rock said. “I’m like, ‘Baby, I got these tickets. I’ll see you on the weekend there,’ and that leads into her saying, ‘You don’t care about me, blah, blah, blah,’” he continued. “She finally comes up with this: ‘I just had a miscarriage’…and hangs the phone up.”
Rock claims when he went to see her that night she was drinking champagne at a restaurant on top of tables.
“I’m thinking, That’s a quick recovery from a miscarriage.”
I ask you what’s more surprising: That a rock star is unsympathetic about the loss of a child or that a crazy bitch lied about being pregnant? I guess neither are far fetched. So how does this constitute as news you might ask? It proves that Kid Rock is still alive and clinging to fame. If that’s not entertainment I don’t know what is. It’s pathetic enough to warrant an “E!” reality show.
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Mom puts rumors to rest in an email
Contrary to prior belief, Lindsay Lohan actually plans on going through her drug rehab program– all the way. While rumors of an early departure began circulating, Access Hollywood released an email submitted by Lohan’s mom Dina who claimed:
“Not true, staying in Utah.”
Things are looking up for that state. They get rid of Warren Jeffs and extend Linsay Lohan’s stay all in one week. If Utah keeps improving at this rate it might actually attract tourists for other reasons than child prostitution. Maybe skiing. I think I saw that on a license plate once.
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Wednesday, Sep 19th, 2007
Categories: TV
Emmys lose to the Patriots
Associated Press published Nielson Media Research’s official numbers today. Turns out one football game is more important than TV’s biggest night of the year. What’s most pathetic about this? It wasn’t even a good game. The Patriots destroyed the Chargers in probably the most unsurprising game of the season so far. So how did the NFL outrank the Emmys? Because award shows are boring. It’s the same reason your parents didn’t get off work when you got Perefect Attendance in sixth grade. Don’t get me wrong. Trophies are great. They serve a fantastic purpose. You can put them on your mantle and when people walk into your house they instantly know that you’re better than them. Best part, you get to maintain a sense of modesty about it. It’s not your fault someone gave you a golden-winged chick with a sphere. But nobody wants to sit through the ceremony. That’s the best part about winning a huge award. They usher you off-stage to get your drink on. No more Ryan Seacrest or contortionist shadow-puppets.
Here’s my idea: no more Emmy show. Have the damn thing but don’t air it. Just post the winners on on a website. Now let’s think up something that’s actually more entertaining than a lack-lustered football game. Like “Survivor: Kodiak, Alaska.” See, it’s not hard.
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Tuesday, Sep 18th, 2007
Categories: Music
50 Cent still recording
After a very public battle with the media and Kanye West, 50 Cent ultimately failed to outsell the rival hip-hop artist. Fiddy had vowed to end his solo career in defeat, but evidently that doesn’t matter. While cancelling several performances in Europe, Fiddy’s people claim it is simply a scheduling change and bears no significance in the matter. So is he quitting or not? E! reports that the rapper’s departure is doubtful at best.
[Fiddy] reportedly already has a dozen tunes that didn’t make it onto Curtis that have been earmarked for his next album, Before I Self-Destruct, due out in 2008.
In other words, Fiddy is a liar. No wonder he’s been shot so many times. This is just like not showing up for a fight, like when Sebastian Bach never showed up for his tussle with Axel Rose. How is it entertainers who make a living off of their street cred are allowed to wuss out in the public eye? Now we’re going to be subjected to twelve more songs that weren’t even good enough for the last album. Maybe Fiddy will just set his sights a little lower next year. Aaron Carter, he’s got your number.
![gallery[bnovak_aaroncarter_091807]](http://www.moviestvmusic.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/themes/advanced/images/spacer.gif "gallery[bnovak_aaroncarter_091807]")
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Loveable until proven guilty
Sunday, OJ was arrested in Las Vegas after getting  in trouble with “The Man.” The Associated Press is reporting that the former athlete and future novelist attempted to rob items that used to belong to him including a photo of him with J. Edgar Hoover.
Now to be fair, OJ hasn’t actually been proven guilty of anything other than stealing our hearts. I think it’s time we just stop doubting him and enjoy his entirely fictional books, “If I did it,” “If I did that too,” and “If I used to kick the shit out of my children because I loved them.” I smell Pulitzer.
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Worst lawyer ever
Attorney in the Spears custody case Laura Wagner argued Friday that the court documents should be kept from the public in an attempt to “stop the madness. ” Wagner has already gone on record claiming that:
“No one could have contemplated the plethora of media activity…sadly, in my opinion.”
Are you kidding me? Nice one Britney. Way to pick the lawyer with the worst foresight in the history of the justice system. I think their plan was to ride underneath the Phil Spector case and maybe no one would notice that the state has to pull Britney’s children from her icy grip.
And in what I consider the most stunning part of this case, who would have ever thought we’d be saying, “Thank god those boys have K-Fed to look after them.” Come on, Kevin. Don’t take the children. Who’s going to drive Mommy to dance recital?
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