Caroline
And Rumor Willis oughta know!
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It’s hard work being a celebrity offspring. It might just be the toughest job on earth. Rumor Willis, eldest daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore reminds us that although it looks like fun and games bouncing from club to club with ms. Lindsay “barely-conscious” Lohan, it’s actually an arduous 24-hour job. Seriously now, for lay-people like you and I that actually does sound a bit exhausting. But these kids have access to the finest medicine that money can buy - you know, the kind that keeps you awake when you’ve been working (read: drinking vodka crans) into the wee hours of the night. So what’s the big whoop? She recently told People Magazine:
“Before I started working, I would have said, ‘You know, it’s not really fair, because I didn’t choose this.’ But when you decide to be a part of this profession and put yourself out there, then you kind of have to accept what it is.”
And by “working” of course she means taking Daddy’s credit card to Bloomies and wreaking havok in the designer jean department. Take a load off, girl!
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Caroline
As 98% of pollers misread the question
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According to US Magazine a survey of 600 Americans shows that this kid-obsessed couple is the most popular celebrity ’stume of 2007. What a sad sad Halloween year this is. I mean, there are so many other great costume ideas out there. Baby Jessica just recently had her 20th anniversary of falling into the well. I can’t begin to explain the places you could go with that one. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the stoic pretty couple too good for the universe, exude less humor than an Allstate commercial and have no place at a Halloween rager. I guess if you have a band of midgets on hand…and maybe a fifth of vodka…you could potentially cook up something interesting.
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Zubobo
Love means never using the H-word
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Nicole Kidman stops short of referring to her year-and-a-half marriage to Keith Urban as happy. The Daily Mail reports:
She told US magazine Interview: “You never know where something’s going.
“My husband and I are committed to each other and deeply in love.”
Told by the magazine interviewer that she and Urban appeared happy together, she replied: “I don’t ever say that.
What does she mean “deeply committed?” That sounds like you’re stuck with an expensive car that you no longer like but you’re in too much debt to the finance company to ever sell the piece of junk. The only thing left to do is park it in a bad neighborhood and hope it’s stolen.
The way Nicole sounds it seems the only thing left for her to do is park Urban near Pamela Anderson and let nature take its course.
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Zubobo
Has history of teaching dogs how to wave goodbye
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It seems Iggy wasn’t the first adopted pup Ellen showed the door. The NY Post reports:
Kerri Randles [LA producer] says she gave DeGeneres a male mutt named Stormy two years ago, only to find out less than two months later that fickle Ellen had re-gifted him to a member of her staff.
DeGeneres may have passed along several other dogs over the years. Howard Stern said on his Sirius show that he’d heard she had done this nine times before.
What’s Ellen engaged in, dog smuggling? Pamela Anderson keeps husbands longer than Ellen keeps dogs.
Is she jealous because the dogs dance better or because they have more manageable hair?
I heard she doesn’t even make a dog feel at home. The name on the doggy bowl is only written in pencil.
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Caroline
And calls it a music video
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TMZ has captured a sweet little videoof Heidi Montag and boyfriend Spencer Pratt doing what they do best - acting like raging morons. On the video you will witness Montag frolicking in the tide, lip sinking her new song, and rubbing her bikini-clad awkward body in a very un-sexy way as Pratt captures it all on video. Yep, with the camera in one hand and a boom box in the other, he’s the one-man camera crew, hoping this complex videography will attract millions of viewers. The great tragedy that afflicts this duo is that they take themselves so seriously. She really believed that a couple of new knockers and a smaller schnoz is going to buy her a music career. And he thinks, well, I’m not convinced he actually does. These two would have been perfect candidates for a scandalous sex tape if they weren’t both so blatantly unattractive and un-famous.
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Zubobo
Rotund character actor kicks mystery habit
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Actor John Goodman recently checked out of rehab after being treated for an undisclosed problem.
I wonder if it has anything to do with all those years of drinking body shots from Roseanne Barr’s navel. E Online:
The former Roseanne star managed to keep his rehab so low profile no one knew he was even in treatment until he announced his successful completion of the program.
“For my family and myself, I voluntarily took the necessary steps to remain sober the rest of my life,” the 55-year-old actor said in a statement issued by his publicist, Stan Rosenfield.
Whatever the addiction, it’s understandable. Who wouldn’t want to consume enough chemicals to blot out the memory of being in “The Flintstones”?
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Zubobo
Flattens photog's foot
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Britney Three-Point-Turn Spears was back in the news after she steered her ride over the foot of one of Hollywood’s beloved paparazzi. TMZ reports:
With one hand attempting to cover her freshly acquired Jolie-esque lips, Spears attempted to exit the parking lot in her Pumpkinmobile while using her other hand to steer. As she tried to make a quick left, with paparazzi by her side, Spears’ tire ran over our sandal-wearing photog’s foot. Spears stopped the car, trapping our guy for what must have seemed like 4 hours. Ouch!
It’s just the latest in a series of traffic disasters for the porky pop princess. She’s basically al-Qaeda with power steering.
Meanwhile, Britney’s visitation privileges with her kids have been revoked until she complies with an unspecified court order. It’s anyone’s guess what the court order is. But my money’s on mandatory driving lessons
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Caroline
And the bitches over at Mutts and Moms are not pleased
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If you haven’t been following the saga, let me catch you up. Star adopts dog, star’s cats hate dog, star gives dog away to hairdresser (violation of adoption agreement), shelter swoops in to take back dog, star pleads on national television to give it back. Prime time TNT never saw drama like this! It seems as though the adoption agency, Mutts and Moms, has been receiving death threats from psychotic Ellen fans and yet for some idiodic reason they still refuse to return the dog to the hairdresser’s care. Because sticking a dog back in a cage is way more humane than leaving him at some rich family’s house! Duh!! They agency’s attorney, Keith A. Fink tells Fox News:
“It’s never gonna happen. There is more of a chance that the Yankees are going to win the World Series this year.”
Apparently, the two Mutts and Moms owners just don’t want this dog to have a home…at all costs. Maybe they’re just pissed because the canine’s haircuts cost more than their monthly salary. Or maybe they just really hate dogs and this is just a part time gig while they get their online degree from DeVry University.
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Caroline
Here's to hoping that the kids have hearing problems...
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Her Marc Jacobs luggage is packed, her first class ticket booked, and Paris Hilton is gearing up for her trip to Rwanda, where she will do a 5-day charity mission with the Playing for Good organization. Because no one spreads STDs good the way Paris does. Ok Magazine reports:
Paris’ five-day trek to the African country, where she will visit clinics and schools, will be filmed with the hopes of selling it as a reality show titled The Philanthropist.
I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that Paris is going to be speaking to impressionable young children, or that we may be subjected to it on television. “What’s up children of Africa! I’m here to talk to you about stuff, super fun stuff! Little dogs are super cute and they will totally fit into your Luis Vuitton bag, so ask your parents for one, kay?? Also, when you grow up don’t ever have sex with Rick Salomon if there’s a videotape nearby, that’s really important to remember. Hmm, what else? The Halloween party at Pure is going to be so hot, you should totally ask your parents if you can go. Wait, are there direct flights to Vegas? Try not to sit in coach, it smells bad! Wheeeee! I’m doing good! Byeeee!”
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Guy
But new plot twist makes her more enjoyable than ever
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The National Enquirer reports that the California Department of Justice has begun an investigation into the death of Anna Nicole Smith starting on Friday with a raid on the houses of former friends known to have connections to Smith’s prescription drug supply.
“The locations searched today are related to doctors who provided medical treatment or prescribed drugs for Anna Nicole Smith or her associates,” California Attorney General Jerry Brown said in a statement.
Smith’s psychiatrist Dr. Khristine Eroshevich has been under investigation by the medical board was just one of their targets. But surprise, surprise, guess who ended up already being at Eroshevich’s house? Howard K. Stern. The plot actually thickens.
So for all those not up to date on the whole conspiracy theory: Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead had a homosexual relationship, impregnated Anna Nicole, killed her son Daniel, then her in order to inherit all of her money and escape away in a passionate gay love affair. What’s really crazy about all of this is that now it might actually be true. If it is, I hope the irony of Anna Nicole being knocked off for inheritance money doesn’t escape anybody.
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he has had happier happenings!
Once again, im not sure what this means, but yeah, im sticking to it.